However, no more that one day should go by without a response.
When the employee is ready to talk it is your job to let them present their concerns. You can listen actively and then say Tell me more and wait. That is part of your gravity role. It is after that you can respond with a set of conditions that need to be met and a time line of agreements.
Next steps: If there is no change and no response that Log Splitter shows change is possible you again come from an I statement. Here is an example: I feel frustrated that there is no change. I dont know what the personal problem is, however you are putting your job at risk. Do not lecture, plead, use fear, blame or judge. Be clear and concise. This meeting is usually shorter than the prior one.
Again, if you take on the role of judge it often does resemble that of parent and the old patterned behavior get embedded.
Besides keeping alert to specific personnel problems, firms need to adopt a structural orientation, creating office environments in which old patterns dont get much room to grow. Until recently, most companies have frowned on the public expression of emotions, especially negative ones; there is simply no room for anger, jealousy, disappointment, fear, frustration, rejection or sadness. There was no place to talk about financial problems at home or relational issues such as separation, divorce, ill or poorly behaving children.
Dont bring it to work is the mantra. Only work issues are allowed. However, if we shut down expressing ourselves in an adult way, sharing our concerns and struggles, stress builds and emotions get buried in deeper, more primal parts of our nervous systems until, like a latent volcano, they begin to bubble and finally erupt.
Here are some suggestions for rethinking workplace structure. These are long term thoughts to help:
*Create Balance: Offices structured with excessive emphasis on rules and boundaries create secrets and silence; those which are too flexible are filled with gossip and rumors. In a balanced workplace there is a requirement to ask lots of open ended questions and check out assumptions directly with the source. Accountability is rewarded.
*Encourage the safe expression of emotions: Stiff upper lip cultures promote an every body is always happy and in control setting, impossible and phony. Tell it like it is cultures often promote too much time talking about and analyzing what is done and said and work is put on the back burner. When we can say what we feel and think and express ourselves respectfully and honestly there is a healthy capacity to see it, say it, and let it go.
*Educate: Have brown bag lunch lectures to discuss heath subjects, financial information and relationship tips. This is in addition to wellness programs to help employees stop smoking or consider weight issues. Although firms cannot take away fear of financial concerns offering educational seminars can help. This is the same with parenting and partnering issues.
Sometimes just one seminar can get an employee started with exactly what they need to solve a personal problem.
Workplaces for the 21st Century are more complex than they have ever been. We now go at the speed of light and take so little time to think through priorities, we often stay on the tread mill of patterned responses. Studies in emotional intelligence call upon executives to understand not merely the financial nuts and bolts of a business but also the communication patterns of those they lead. Becoming pattern aware builds upon cognitive psychology and emotional intelligence.
Helping employees observe, understand and transform their patterns is a way to engage a healthy workforce. When the healthy opposites of patterns surface, avoiders become initiators, and procrastinators become realizers, persecutors become visionaries, rebels become community builders, and victims become explorers and so on.
The full list is in the book Dont Bring It to Work as well as the tools for transforming the old out dated patterns to ones that enhance positive adult relationships both at work and at home.
The best employers, the smartest entrepreneurs dont just want their employees to survive; they want to support a culture that is open, fun, and cooperative. In a thriving work culture individuals are proactive, taking charge of work relationships, being initiators to resolve conflict, being accountable for their part in any difficult situations that lead to hard feelings.
Making changes in the culture of a work setting takes courage. It means speaking up in a clear and responsible manner. It means knowing that everyone in the system is part of the problem and also part of the change. The rewards are many. The jackpot includes healthy, productive, and fulfilling relationships up and down the organization.